Michelle Wolf Scares Me

Michelle Wolf is not funny.  Let me step back.  I like to listen to NPR in the morning.  This morning, I heard these words as I lay on my pillow, Pork Chop’s big pug butt to my face, “”I actually really like Sarah. I think she’s very resourceful. But she burns facts and then she uses that ash to create a perfect smokey eye…” And I thought, “poor Sarah! Leave Sarah alone!” And then I cried.

Not really, I actually thought,” wow, that lady I not funny. She seems kind of mean.”

Later, as I sat in my office, eating a big faux pot brownie, I heard the voice again, but this time she was being interviewed on NPR’s Fresh Air.  I learned that her name is Michelle Wolf, that she’s a comedienne, that she was a correspondent for the Daily Show, and that she’s under fire for her act at the White House correspondent’s dinner.

Who the fuck watches the White House correspondent’s dinner?  If you are watching that broadcast and are not intimately related to one of the participants, you should be ashamed of yourself.  It’s just another celebrity/journalist jerk off fest.  Seriously, go for a walk.

Before this morning, I didn’t know who Michelle Wolf was.  I quit my job recently.  I’ve been doing document review.  Document review is legit.  You sit around for roughly nine hours a day and review documents.  Your time is so absorbed by sheer tediousness that you don’t have any time for CNN or basic hygiene.  Alas, a post is for another time.

This post is to rant about mean girl Michelle Wolf.  Michelle Wolf is a mean girl.  Her comedy is laced with smug, mean, bitterness. People, apparently, lap that shit up.  Not I, because women like her have always intimidated me. She was a track star.  She majored in P.E. in college.  So, of course, she’s the smartest bitch in the room.  And she is a bitch, that’s her shtick.  Like her comedy special is called “Nice Lady,” and, in it, she revels in not being a nice lady.  Or so, it seems.

I’ve not watched her comedy special, because, again, women like her scare the hell out of me.  In my experience, super-athletic smart girls who are better than everyone else, are super judgmental.  Like, for example, they often do not like fat girls. And I’m a fat girl.  They often don’t understand silly people. And I’m a silly person.  They often don’t like people who can’t run fast.  And I can’t run fast.

I will admit, however, that she can say some hilarious things.  On Fresh Air, she said something like, “I’m a science person…I majored in kiniesology in college.”  Hilarious.

 

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