Confessions. Chicka Chicka Lit!

Confession Number 1.  I like reading Chick Lit.  There I said it.  Phew!  This crazy gorilla monkey has been weighing on my conscious for like, at least, a year.

I’m sure that it comes as a surprise that someone as burly, hirsute, and masculine as me secretly devours stories about dainty, usually rich and (gasp!) privileged, but fun loving, ladies who are forever looking for beauty, love, sex, and an equal wage.  Just looking at me, you’re probably all thinking “gosh, that’s a totally  lady (err dude?) who never fantasized about working in the fashion industry and dating male models.”

Well, like you know what buddy? You’d be wrong, okay?  I totally dug Glamorama.  Seriously, if you haven’t read Glamorama, you totally should.  It’s all sorts of dirty.  Also, it features an international terrorist organization comprised solely of hot models.  Now I know what you are saying, “Tab, that sounds like the plot of Zoolander.”  It sorta does, but Glamorama came out first and it features a lot of raunchy sex.  Like lots.

So I listen to lots of audio books, since like my job is fine but it’s not really that hard.  So I listen to a lot of books.  This week I’ve listened to three books written by ladies who have decided to be okay with being fat.  This is called “health at every size” or “fuck! is it really my duty as a chick to diet from 12 to 72? I mean seriously?”

I generally agree with that sentiment.  I mean there is more to life than worrying about food.  I think.  Hell, may as well take up smoking.  You’ll die sooner and the thin people’s precious, precious taxes can be preserved for war or more “shovel ready” jobs or whatever.  Maybe space exploration or beggars in Spain. Here’s a review of one of the books I listened too.


 

Fat Girl Walking – Sex, Food, Love and  Being Comfortable in your Skin – Every Inch of It

The Who:

Brittany Gibbons is a mommy blogger and a body positivist. In the medical vernacular, her body is what would be termed “obese.” She gave a TedX talk about being comfortable in your own skin.  During the talk, she took off her clothes.  Yes, she got naked on stage.  So that’s why she’s famous.

The Good:

Brittany dropped out of college, because she had a crazy mad panic attack after her boyfriend left town.  Her mother wasn’t some diet crazed mother dearest – “No more BUTTER BAGELS!”  Her husband genuinely seems to love her. Brittany was a stay at home mom for several years.  Her husband lost his job when Chrysler went bankrupt. As a result her family had to go on public assistance.    She found a new calling as a blogger.  Apparently, she makes money off of the blogging.

The Bad:

Brittany is not a good writer.  I can say this with certainty, because I have a bachelor’s degree in creative writing from an – wait for it – IVY LEAGUE UNIVERSITY.  Her grammar and sentence structure is fine or whatever.  I guess? I was never good at the grammar.    But the book was seriously boring for long stretches.  This may be okay for some folks, but for hard working analysts like me who toil all day staring at spreadsheets, long stretches of rambling mendacity is not okay.  Not okay.

My Fancy Opinion:

Brittany comes off as conceited and self-important.  Also, attention seeking. I think taking off your clothes in front of an audience is a little uncalled for.   I get that she is trying to prove to the world that she’s beautiful in spite of weighing 220lbs.  That’s fine, if that’s what you’re into.  Oh yeah, she wrote a whole chapter about forcing herself to have relations with her husband for a whole year.   To be fair though,  I’m not really the target demographic of this book since I don’t have kids and I have relations with my husband all the time.  I’m mean, isn’t that why people get married?  To have dependable relations?

Brittany is also really dopey. Throughout the narrative, I kept thinking “wow, this lady…this lady is sorta dopey.” Like she complains about having lots of student loan debt, but she 1. dropped out of college, 2. was a stay at home mom, and 3. she got naked during her TedX talk.  Dopey.

And the killer, Brittany is not funny.  That’s unforgivable in my fancy opinion.

Rating: 2.5 chin whiskers

 

 

 

 

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