So I’m sitting here innocently watching a movie called Snowpiercer. Here’s my main problem with this movie – a distinct lack of cannibalism. I mean these people are –
1. On a train;
2. Sixteen (16) years after the start of an ice age, AND
they aren’t eating people!
I mean what the fuck people. What the fuck?! There’s an ice age. It’s so horrible that about 500 people from all over the world scrambled on to a train in 2014 to escape the horrible, horrible, cold outside. It’s like 2031 now, and these people are EATING BUGS! BUGS! No, they aren’t eating the most logical protein source available – sweet, sweet baby flesh. No. They are partaking in bugs!
AND what’s more, the poor people (the people at the back who are staging a revolt for some stupid reason, most likely because they aren’t getting enough baby protein), are totally and completely PISSED OFF; I mean PISSED OFF, by the astonishing revelation that their food was made of BUGS!
Again, these people are living on a train during an ICE AGE!
I’m sorry I don’t care about the dumb greenhouse. Most likely, you’d still be eating bugs because aquariums and greenhouses would probably not survive all the hustle and jostle of a train in an ICE AGE. But, why not eat people?
Human flesh has a lot of nutrients. Just don’t eat the brains, because you can get a nasty prion disease. Those are just awful.
Let me be honest with you, if I were boss of that improbable ICE AGE traveling train I’d have instituted a people eating policy post haste. First, the old people would be on the menus. Then surplus babies. REMEMBER, YOU ARE ON A TRAIN IN AN ICE AGE. THERE IS NO OTHER HOPE FOR YOU. YOU TRAVEL ON THIS TRAIN OR DIE. Hello! Babie eating. The third thing I would institute is eating big people – so anyone over 5’8 or over 200Lbs would be food. Sorry, that’s how it goes when you are on a train during an ice age.
And finally, there is no way in all hell that I would institute and maintain a class system on this train UNLESS we are eating the poor people. Come on! Even if you want the poor people’s babies, why would you spend resources to feed the adults? Or especially to feed the male adults? Fuck that. Eat those motherfuckers.