Day 4 – I’m Just a Narcissitic Braggart With An Urge to Poo

To get a whopping 5% off my insurance premium, I have to get a physical.  I’m okay with this, because I love, love, love data about myself.  Seriously, I love knowing about my weight, cholesterol, blood pressure, resting heart rate, blood glucose levels, thyroid levels, fat percentages, neurotic tendencies, poop intensities, poop urges, you know, whatever.

My physical is scheduled for tomorrow.  But I have a concern. As a part of the physical, I get to talk to a registered dietician.   The problem is that I’m afraid that I’ll get in trouble because of the amount of butter I eat and the amount of beer I drink.  The beer thing I can handle, because it’s a vice I choose and do not apologize for.  The butter thing though….

Well my decision to forgo most vegetable oils, including margarine and “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter,” was borne out of reading Gary Taube’s books,  reading Vinnie Tortorich’s book, and reading Denise Minger’s book.  Basically, the message is vegetable oils?  Probably not all that great for you.  And you know what? Butter tastes FUCKING AWESOME.  I fucking love butter.  More on that later.

So I think that, tomorrow, I’m just going to pay lip service to whatever the dietician says.  If I’m ornery enough, and I might be, since it’s morning, I’ll explain my reasoning.  Also am I trying to lose weight?  LOL! No Ms. Registered Dietician.  I have absolutely not time for that nonsense, plus it’s fucking boring.  I don’t like being bored. That’s why I have like a billion projects going on at the same time. Plus, I tried the weight loss thing once and it was really assinine and not intellectually or creatively stiminulating and I think that’s why a lot of uninteresting people harp on it so much.  Plus, if everybody just stopped eating so much sugar, ate more butter and eggs, exercised, and maybe, just maybe, smoked a few packs of  cigarettes a day, they’d all be svelte and we, as a society could move the fuck on.

–Statistics–

Food Diary (boring and last time! Yay! ‘Cause really? Who gives a flying fuck? Registered Dietician does.  That’s who.)

Breakfast – Almond butter sandwich (Ezekiel bread).  No sugars added on anything.

Lunch – Salad, same as yesterday. ( I like to eat the same thing every day.  It keeps things easy).

Dinner – Crockpot chicken and potatos

Drinks – Beer, water and Coffee

Workouts

Jogging!  64 minutes (6miles)

10k Step Challenge – 5533 steps (doh. fail.  I gotta figure out how to get in more walking during my day).

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